this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
