I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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