You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
