I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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