Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
