I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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