i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
