So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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