I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
