In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
