If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
