Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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