i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
