sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
