I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
