please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All the doctor said was why
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
