Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
