Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
