does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
