so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
