If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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