Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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