nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
