He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
