At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Randomize
