i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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