Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
