and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
