OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
