I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
