Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
