also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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