I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
