I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
