I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
