You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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