Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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