dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
