she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
