we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
