what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
