Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
