dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
