Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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