remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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