We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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