Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
