We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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