LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
