She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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