he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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